"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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