It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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