I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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