How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
