Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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