so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This is the high leading the old right now
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
