It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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