Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
