So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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