I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
