I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
