I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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