I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
