What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
