Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i now understand why vodka
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
