I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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