Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
