So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
