The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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