I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
