I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
