And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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