The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So squirting runs in the family.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
