How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
