If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
