i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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