I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
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