My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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