We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
