The maid of honor just puked.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Bang-toberfest begins!!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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