i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
