I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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