your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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