dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize