so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
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Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
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Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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