i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
