the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
