i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
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He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
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No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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