They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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