Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
ok first of all what the fuck
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