Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
