Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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