Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
