And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize