Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
