Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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