you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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