Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
