Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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