My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize