Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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