As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
