don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
