Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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