I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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