Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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