You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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