I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
