fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
