i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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