dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
