I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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